Santa,
I don’t know if you’re working with the NSA or what, but how bad have I been? You haven’t left me as much as a lump of coal since I don’t know when. I would prefer coal, by the way, to these stacking years of indifference.
OK - ignore me all you want. But, my son – crazy as he is at 5 years old – has overcome many bad habits (cussing, breaking shit, etc.). Are you really going to watch him drop another letter in the mailbox, and then leave it up to me to get him something in your name?
Santa, it’s safe to say you’re not going to stop by the house again this year. Is it because we’re poor? And here we have all these sappy Christmas movies imparting “lessons” about class in this society… it’s frustrating. Straight up: your act seems like a bogus deal, bra. The houses you miss are noted by all the young girls and boys - the good ones and the band ones. Kids can be mean...
If I wanted a bogus deal, I could go buy candles from the candle guy right now (current sale: two candles for the price of one; normally one candle for the price of two).
Santa, I understand the magic. It’s a beautiful thought: flying around in a souped-up sleigh, whipping deer and delivering toys to all the tots - working one fucking night a year. Big shot. Christmas is kind of a bummer if I don’t have something with your name on it under the tree on Christmas morning.
Let’s cut to the chase: children get sad if they don't get a special delivery from you around the holidays.
Jonny Mac
I don’t know if you’re working with the NSA or what, but how bad have I been? You haven’t left me as much as a lump of coal since I don’t know when. I would prefer coal, by the way, to these stacking years of indifference.
OK - ignore me all you want. But, my son – crazy as he is at 5 years old – has overcome many bad habits (cussing, breaking shit, etc.). Are you really going to watch him drop another letter in the mailbox, and then leave it up to me to get him something in your name?
Santa, it’s safe to say you’re not going to stop by the house again this year. Is it because we’re poor? And here we have all these sappy Christmas movies imparting “lessons” about class in this society… it’s frustrating. Straight up: your act seems like a bogus deal, bra. The houses you miss are noted by all the young girls and boys - the good ones and the band ones. Kids can be mean...
If I wanted a bogus deal, I could go buy candles from the candle guy right now (current sale: two candles for the price of one; normally one candle for the price of two).
Santa, I understand the magic. It’s a beautiful thought: flying around in a souped-up sleigh, whipping deer and delivering toys to all the tots - working one fucking night a year. Big shot. Christmas is kind of a bummer if I don’t have something with your name on it under the tree on Christmas morning.
Let’s cut to the chase: children get sad if they don't get a special delivery from you around the holidays.
Jonny Mac